This is the end: WNS Presents the Roast of Reed.

For the second to last post of the Farewell Tour, I decided to let someone else have the fun. Jared has been a guest on WNS in the past and I was humbled by how eager he was to tackle this. Of course he’ll jump on the opportunity to roast me. Jared’s gonna take it from here, hope you enjoy this sequel to the 50 facts about Reed, a look into the inner machinations of my mind from a different perspective. Only one more post, be on the lookout. 

-Reed

Life With Reed

April 3, 1993 – Present

  1. Reed, Peed, Ugly, Uggs, (when cyn banned ugly), Broda, Brofessor, Baby Bro
  2. Reed is not a morning person
  3. Reed is not an early afternoon person
  4. Reed isn’t really a person until the sun has started going down
  5. Loves Chocolate Ice Cream
  6. Loves leaving his unwashed bowls of Chocolate Ice Cream around the house
  7. The only milk Reed drinks is Chocolate, “but not to chocolatey”
  8. Reed’s tombstone will reed (pun intended) “I just gotta save!”
  9. Isn’t allowed to mow the lawn because he can’t walk in a straight line.
  10. “What?” “Fine” “Ok.” are Reed’s top 3 responses
  11. If you listen closely to Reed you’ll hear him repeat the last sentence he spoke back to himself as a sort of self proofreading exercise
  12. Closet Harry Potter fanatic, but who isn’t?
  13. Terrible at receiving constructive criticism, he’s a modern day tarantino
  14. Reed and I share a bathroom with two sinks so naturally my sink is also Reed’s sink
  15. Small Pepperoni Pizza from WHOP
  16. Growing up Reed would complain my December birthday came before his April Birthday, because Reed bases his year on the school year calendar
  17. To this day I am jealous Reed has met Jason David Frank aka Tommy Oliver aka the Green Ranger.
  18. An ideal Saturday morning for Reed revolves around making pancakes while listening to Michael Bublé.
  19. “I’m gonna kill him.” – Cyn most days
  20. “I’m running out of material.” – BP disciplining Reed for the xth time.
  21. Has a tendency to walk around the house wielding a lightsaber.
  22. Deathly ticklish
  23. “And to the republic for Richard Stands.” – Kindergarten
  24. Favorite Candy: Reese’s
  25. Favorite Late Night Snack: PB&J
  26. Won Color War
  27. Liquor over Beer
  28. “I just want to live my life, I just want to be a kid” – Reed age 9
  29. Yeezus T Shirt, Black Red Sox hat, lanyard, knockarounds
  30. Can’t lie and keep a straight face
  31. French Vanilla Ice Coffee Milk and Sugar and Chocolate Munchkins – A Peraner Runs on Dunkins (Don’t forget Cyn’s Coffee or we’re all f***)
  32. Different foods on the same plate can’t touch, can’t be green and ate in sections (ie all the steak, then all the mashed potatoes)
  33. *hand over mouth pose*
  34. Star Wars/Batman Action Figures, Megazords, The Little Tikes 18 Wheeler (Still the greatest childhood toy ever made) and Legos. Don’t touch his legos (don’t touch my legos either)!
  35. Most Quoted Movies: Austin Powers, SuperBad, Dodgeball, Star Wars, Back to the Future, Departed, The Dark Knight, Pulp Fiction
  36. Reads more than anyone in the Peraner House
  37. Registered to Vote (and so should all of you reading this! Go out and Vote!)
  38. Needs to stand up straight
  39. Snore’s pretty loudly
  40. The Peraner Bro’s Might Morphin Power Rangers Movie is the best movie that’s never been made or fully written…yet
  41. One time Reed got in trouble, was sent to his room, left a note on his door apologizing and the bottom of the note read “…and Jared if you’re reading this I’ll take those two little tic tac’s you call balls and feed them to the dog.”
  42. There’s a picture of Reed getting pantsed hanging up in our kitchen
  43. During a torrential downpour at the Lowell Spinners game Reed used a hot dog for an umbrella
  44. The last time I saw Reed truly cry was when they cut off his long hair and he told them to “put it back!” He was 6.
  45. Batman is his favorite comic book character, but spiderman is his favorite super hero (he’ll be sure to clarify you on that)
  46. 2004 ALCS Game 5 “Who’s your Papi!?”
  47. Complained about too much sauce on a make your own pizza…
  48. Athletic: Yes / Eye-Hand-Coordination: None
  49. Hasn’t missed a Taylor Swift show
  50. Never been afraid to try anything new, including starting this blog, to which I’ve read every post. Though, I would be lying if I said I agreed with every post, or those top 10 lists…

 

RIP in P to WNS.

-JP

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2 responses to “This is the end: WNS Presents the Roast of Reed.

  1. I have been a part of so many of these memories… hot dogs legos and repeating himself all classics… I’ll miss the blog…

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