It’s a Saturday afternoon and I have the impending doom of finals week upon me. Most people are either recovering from a hangover due to this being the final weekend of no parental supervision, or in the library studying/procrastinating studying like I am. However I am not in the library.
I decided to take a trip into the metropolitan haven that we’ve come to know and love called New York City. I do have a mission on this journey: I need to get filmed processed for my final in my film production class. But why not take advantage of this day and give it to myself, in solitude. So I embark on the LIRR to Penn Station and take the 1 train downtown to Houston St. and walk to 110 Leroy St. The cold harsh winter wind of New York hits me in the face like thumbtacks. I find the Technicolor service center and drop my film off, after exchanging words with a film student of NYU that works there. Then it’s back out into the cold.
I go into Google Maps in search of the nearest Starbucks so that I can sit down and attempt to start my paper on Casablanca (1942) that’s due at the end of next week. Again, I walk in the cruel gust of snow, dirt, and probably some form of fecal matter. However I cannot help but feel a sense of solace walking by myself, yet never alone in the city that never sleeps. Finally, I reach my stop and walk through the double doors and am greeted by warmth and the smell of coffee beans and the pure essence of narcissism coming off of the other Starbucks customers sitting with their lattes and reading about existentialism and/or typing on their MacBooks.
I order a vanilla latte and give the name Swarley, and demand they hurry up with my damn croissant (Song lyrics, I’m not THAT mean). I get cozy and check all forms of social media before getting started, but then I have what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity. Why not take this time to myself to review the year of 2013 as a whole and pay respects to it?
After declaring 2012 the greatest year of my life last year, I found myself optimistic that I would be destined for greater things come 2013. However 2013 brought more than big things, it brought a lot more actually. The year 2013 was indeed the biggest roller coaster of a year for Reed Peraner.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way. . . .”
I was given the opportunity to grace the screen with my acting prowess in a senior film at my school (Despite the fact I played a dead kid the whole time). I went on a trip to the Harry Potter exhibit in NYC with two of my friends and what made that day so special was the events afterwards that unfolded, thus leading me to discover my two best friends at this college. Starting this blog with Drew and watching it grow these past months has been an experience in its own, despite some of the hate we’ve gotten from both friends and family. Over the summer I was given one of the highest honors my job at my summer camp can give me; and I gave what I thought was the most fitting speech to end my 13 year tenure at said camp. I received a bid and successfully pledged for Hofstra’s Alpha Epsilon Pi chapter, and I had never felt better about myself after achieving that spot in their brotherhood. And let’s not forget what was arguably the cherry on top of 2013’s positives: Seeing The God himself, Kanye West, at Madison Square Garden and waiting outside MSG for 4 and a half hours in the cold, to get less than six feet away from Mr. West and have the privilege of holding a memory like that for the rest of my life. Not to mention the lolz and inside jokes throughout the year, as scattered and spontaneous as they were. They still happened.
I went through a lot of turmoil with certain people in my life. Some that worked out and others that didn’t and probably for good reason. There were a lot more no’s than yes’s for me, and heartbreak was a recurring theme of this year. I lost touch with myself and what I wanted in my life. I hurt some people in this process and caused more stress to myself than any mortal man deserves. Some may argue that I am immortal due to my godly status, but even gods can bleed. Math and Spanish came back to haunt me in classes this fall, not to mention almost all my classes this past semester were not classes I was too fond of. Though these negative events and situations caused me to want 2013 to be behind me once and for all, I cannot block out the positives listed above. Still, the past seems to be a recurring theme in my dreams.
I wouldn’t say I’m mad about 2013, I just thought it would be not so stressful and disappointing on my person.. Would I change a few things about it? This is the part where I say hell no and how all these events made me who I am today… Well, no. There are some things I would change about 2013 if I could go back; I’m not just gonna lie to myself. It was a year full of thinking too much and causing more negatives where there could have been positives.
Having said all this, I am glad that some events unfolded and I absolutely would never change them. I let go of a lot of things this year that I’ve been trying to let go of for anywhere between 1 year to almost 4. I tell myself that, at least. That’s my new years resolution for 2014: To just let it go. Let go of everything that I’ve been holding on to for far too long. I can only hope that I actually fulfill this dream this coming year and practice what I’ve been preaching in this blog since its inception in May. We all hold high expectations for ourselves with the coming new year and the future as a whole, and hope not to fall back and keep living in the past. It can be hard sometimes; but we simply must move forward.
“… tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther… And one fine morning – So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
So, to 2013: I bid you adieu and welcome with open arms the year 2014. Because with each start of a new year, it’s like hitting a reset button for yourself. A fresh start. A time to try some things new while cherishing those things old.